Disputes

Just today I had a dispute with my roommate who also happens to be one of my best friends.

Without going too much into the details, despite emotions running high, he de-escalated it like a world class negotiator. He identified the root of the problem and calmly worked us towards a solution when he very easily could have responded with his own rightful frustrations. It is a real superpower he has -- to detangle noisy, messy, and personal situations in an empathetic way to identify the root issue and create space for their calm and orderly resolution.

I told him that I'm grateful for what he did not only for helping to resolve the dispute but for teaching me something that I can carry forward and aspire to replicate. It may seem hard to believe but from the way he responded to texts to the manner he guided the conversation in person, he gave me a framework for how to engage with emotionally charged situations. To read about it is one thing, to see it in practice (especially when you are on the receiving end) makes you viscerally feel its effectiveness.

As I said in my earlier post, I do not believe there to be a greater gift than friends that set the standard. Friends who help -- no, demand -- you become the best version of yourself. I feel very grateful to have friends who can turn little things -- mundane roommate disagreements -- into deep pedagogy that will enrich me for years to come.